Some of you may know that I am in the process of attaining my green card. Recently, the Homeland Security kindly provided me a work permit. (another step closer to that green card...I can smell it!)
On the side note: Did you know that the green card is no longer green in color?
Ever since I've gotten my work permit, my level of anxiety has increased. My voice teacher once said that "being responsible gives you freedom". It is true the other way around as well.
Having freedom makes you responsible.
When the permit arrived, I was thrilled. I finally get to work and pay off my bills and get more training. Within 5 minutes, I became anxious and worried.
I have worked for hours and hours, probably more than I should have in college. But those student jobs were given to me in a safe environment.
I don't know what it's like to have a job in the real world. Sure I've worked as a music teacher and sang for different churches and in an opera company. But a real world job--unrelated to school or music, no..never.
I can no longer use the "oh, I can't work coz I'm an international student" excuse anymore. I actually have to go out there and find a job now. From now on, I have the freedom and the power to decide for myself...and I am responsible for my own decisions. Nothing is stopping me at this point.
Is it weird that freedom makes me nervous? I thought it was weird. So weird that I've been praying and meditating about it all week.
Today, I read in a very special book known as the Bible that I should
"Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again rejoice...Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Yes, it's just that simple.
Do I believe that I can get a job? Yes.
Do I believe that there's a God who makes all things possible? Yes.
Do I believe in miracles? Yes.
Do I believe that I will be provided everything that I need to fulfill my calling? Yes.
So, the answer to all my questions and requests is simply Yes.
Yes, I believe in an extraordinary life. Anything can happen when you have faith.
"Having freedom makes you responsible"
ReplyDeleteyes...totally know what that feels like. i recently stepped into that realm myself (though it was more an imaginative one) and found myself lost all of a sudden!
and glad you checked out that special book. :) those verses were my fave 1st year in America.
i love u! mwah
p.s. i think the key for finding freedom in being responsible is knowing Whom u're responsible before.
ReplyDelete(ahh! more thoughts interrupting when i really should be studying!)
ReplyDeletep.p.s. and when you know that the One before whom we are responsible gave out of His love to give generously to us and out of His love to trust us, then all of a sudden, we see responsibilities and, i must say, even work, in a totally different light. and more than freedom, we may find joy...yes, in being responsible! I recently learned this from that special book when i read this familiar parable with new eyes.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2025:14-30&version=NASB
(the 3rd servant misjudged the true character of his master while the 1st two knew their master well, and that he gave because he was good.)