Let Go and Let God

If God did not give me the eyes to see what I cannot I see, life would not be worth the trip.
Long ago, I decided to abandon the idea of religion. It just could not exist in the world my heart wished to live in.
Soon after this decision was made,
my spirit suffered, my voice harmed, and my relationships crumbled.
My questions were left hanging.
The answers I was given were always open ended.
Nothing to fall on.
Nothing to live by.
Nothing to believe in.
No purpose to fulfill.
Nothing was worth it.
Why would it be?
If God doesn't exist, why are we all here?
By accident?

I use to think that not having a religious faith would grant me freedom to believe in whatever the hell I wanted thus making me a more powerful/ stronger/ well rounded/ wiser person.
But why and how did my decision back fire?
Not only was I weak, I felt vulnerable and useless, wandering in circles, pointless battles, ridiculous defeats. I was screaming and fighting angrily, but no one listened. "Wise" was probably the last word I would use to describe myself.

Tough times ended..and I felt like I just walked out of hell burnt and wounded.
Through that experience, I've learned that...
Faith is not walking off the cliff blind folded.
Faith requires every ounce of wisdom and knowledge that this world can offer.
Without what's seen, we would not know what's left unseen. And what's left unseen is our choice to see.
Faith is a choice made through God's convictions.
Our human minds think it's impossible to believe in this "God" thing.
And it IS impossible for us, but God's here to give us a hand.
Faith is not jumping over a cliff to get to the other side.
All you need to do is to grab a hold of God's hand.
Faith begins with the smallest bit of acceptance to what God has to offer.
We want freedom and freedom is already here. It has always been and will be here.

Hebrews 11:1-3
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commanded for.
By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.
Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.