I was at church this morning and the pastor preached about Christmas.
"The meaning of Christmas has become warped, commercialized, and economically biased over the years." We have forgotten the very essence of why Christmas is here.
Christmas is suppose to be a reminder of our wait for the Messiah.
What does that mean? To wait on Christ?
I guess it's hard to understand since I have not lived the years before Christ came.
Reading from the Scripture, waiting on the Messiah has been a prolonged mission.
Christ came and showed that He is the Messiah. He's here, finally! After all those years, the wait it over. And yet, there were witnesses--who saw Him, His action, and His miracles with their own eyes, who entirely rejected Christ. They continuously tested Him and accused Him for blasphemy.
How would I have reacted to Christ?
Would I have believed that He's the Messiah? He's the BIG deal?
Or would I have completely missed the picture?
And join the priests in stoning Him?
I don't know. I have been waiting for the Messiah for a while..
I have suffered quite enough, so have my mother and father and my great great great grandparents...
Would I believe that this is it?
This man...is my Savior?
"If You are the Messiah, tell us plainly."
He said, “I did tell you, but you do not believe. The works I do in my Father’s name testify about me, but you do not believe because you are not my sheep. My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.
If I do not the works of my Father, believe me not.
But if I do them, though ye believe not me, believe the works: that ye may know and understand that the Father is in me, and I in the Father."
Over the years, it's becoming clearer to me what it means to follow Christ.
Christianity is not a stereotype, it's a way of life.
It's not about what we say and who we appear to be,
it's about what we do and how we live our lives.
What does it mean to wait on Christ?
It means that we need Him.
What is Christmas?
It is a celebration and testimony of having Christ in our lives.
Although presents and surprises are my favorite things in life, they are not Christmas priorities. Time to get ready to celebrate Christ's arrival!
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
When will my rose bush bud?
Another mountain conquered.
No, I did not win anything. But I learned so much from this experience.
There were 2 judges. One was full of encouragements and the other I wished his face melted along with that piece of skin that's falling off of his forehead and that giant pimple on his nose.
Coming from Minnesota, this is my first time dealing with an asshole (please excuse my language) who's completely comfortable being one.
Oh, how he watched me as he said one mean thing after another.
Oh, how he watched the dreams of a 23 year old soprano crumble in those few minutes.
He enjoyed it. I can only imagine what life is like to be a complete bitch and asshole to every living thing around you.
AAAARRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!
On the truly brighter note, the good witch was really watching out for me that afternoon. Thank God I had a word with her before the bad scene happened.
She thought that I had a bright future ahead of me.
She was not very fond of my musical choices. But she enjoyed watching me on stage.
Most importantly, she thought I deserved the encouragement award. Then, she leaned forward and whispered "I fought with the other judge for you backstage".
Breaking boundaries to cheer me on? Cool! Yes, please. I'll take more of that. That truly was encouraging. I don't need the $500.
Although I was briefly hurt by the wicked scrawny shrimp, I saw through that jerk and believed in what I know to be true.
I sing because I love to sing. Yea you may have more power than I'll probably ever have in the Opera business but I have a dream, I'm still young, I'm pretty damn good looking, and most of all, I am talented.
I know this because I know...:) and I have kind people that are willing to encourage me even when I'm at my worse.
I know I've said this many times in my previous posts, but it's just so true I can't help it:
My God is on my side. You bitter shrimps can just move aside coz greatness is on its way.
No, I did not win anything. But I learned so much from this experience.
There were 2 judges. One was full of encouragements and the other I wished his face melted along with that piece of skin that's falling off of his forehead and that giant pimple on his nose.
Coming from Minnesota, this is my first time dealing with an asshole (please excuse my language) who's completely comfortable being one.
Oh, how he watched me as he said one mean thing after another.
Oh, how he watched the dreams of a 23 year old soprano crumble in those few minutes.
He enjoyed it. I can only imagine what life is like to be a complete bitch and asshole to every living thing around you.
AAAARRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!
On the truly brighter note, the good witch was really watching out for me that afternoon. Thank God I had a word with her before the bad scene happened.
She thought that I had a bright future ahead of me.
She was not very fond of my musical choices. But she enjoyed watching me on stage.
Most importantly, she thought I deserved the encouragement award. Then, she leaned forward and whispered "I fought with the other judge for you backstage".
Breaking boundaries to cheer me on? Cool! Yes, please. I'll take more of that. That truly was encouraging. I don't need the $500.
Although I was briefly hurt by the wicked scrawny shrimp, I saw through that jerk and believed in what I know to be true.
I sing because I love to sing. Yea you may have more power than I'll probably ever have in the Opera business but I have a dream, I'm still young, I'm pretty damn good looking, and most of all, I am talented.
I know this because I know...:) and I have kind people that are willing to encourage me even when I'm at my worse.
I know I've said this many times in my previous posts, but it's just so true I can't help it:
My God is on my side. You bitter shrimps can just move aside coz greatness is on its way.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
There is No Fear in Love
Part of the reason I dedicated the previous post to the word "fear"
is because there is fear in me.
I cannot even begin to tell you how afraid I am to go on that stage in Ordway this Saturday.
I wet myself every time I think about it.
This morning, I had a wonderful conversation with Pa and Ma.
I described to them
the dialogues that have been going on in my head...
How they have been dragging me down.
We came to realize that I've forgotten
how much I love to sing.
How can I forget something so simple?
When I forget,
I revert back to fear.
Fear becomes an excuse,
because in this world,
it's easier to fear.
It's not that I want to fear,
it's just
Easier to be the victim,
easier to not have to decide,
and easier to give over your power
to that person, or that teacher,
or that lover, or that accompanist
or that friend...etc.
Well, guess what?
It's my life.
Live now or never.
No one else living my life
but myself.
You know what I mean?
Then, Pa said something
something so powerful I'm blogging about it.
1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
You know how people talk about gifts and talents?
That's what singing is to me.
It literally is a gift from God.
In my Freshman year of college,
I auditioned for choir
without any knowledge that I can sing.
Then, God gave me a scholarship
to lead me to become a singer.
In Sophomore year of college,
I was molested by my piano teacher,
Just when I lost all joy in Music,
He sent me a talented and most loving voice teacher.
Junior year, I had a successful recital,
I got into the final round for S. Club.
Senior year, He gave me a full ride scholarship.
Fear=Punishment?
It's true.
When we fear,
I feel like I don't deserve anything good.
Bad things always happen,
and life becomes too tough to handle.
Disappointments, regrets, failures
We constantly punish ourselves in fear.
Despite the many times I forgot His love for me,
I continued singing,
He guided me through the muck in my life
while I complained and whined about how difficult life is.
And life can be tough,
But in His perfect Love,
there is no need to fear life.
He's made us to live
and has given us free will--
the choice to live
and the choice to love Him
because He loves us.
is because there is fear in me.
I cannot even begin to tell you how afraid I am to go on that stage in Ordway this Saturday.
I wet myself every time I think about it.
This morning, I had a wonderful conversation with Pa and Ma.
I described to them
the dialogues that have been going on in my head...
How they have been dragging me down.
We came to realize that I've forgotten
how much I love to sing.
How can I forget something so simple?
When I forget,
I revert back to fear.
Fear becomes an excuse,
because in this world,
it's easier to fear.
It's not that I want to fear,
it's just
Easier to be the victim,
easier to not have to decide,
and easier to give over your power
to that person, or that teacher,
or that lover, or that accompanist
or that friend...etc.
Well, guess what?
It's my life.
Live now or never.
No one else living my life
but myself.
You know what I mean?
Then, Pa said something
something so powerful I'm blogging about it.
1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
You know how people talk about gifts and talents?
That's what singing is to me.
It literally is a gift from God.
In my Freshman year of college,
I auditioned for choir
without any knowledge that I can sing.
Then, God gave me a scholarship
to lead me to become a singer.
In Sophomore year of college,
I was molested by my piano teacher,
Just when I lost all joy in Music,
He sent me a talented and most loving voice teacher.
Junior year, I had a successful recital,
I got into the final round for S. Club.
Senior year, He gave me a full ride scholarship.
Fear=Punishment?
It's true.
When we fear,
I feel like I don't deserve anything good.
Bad things always happen,
and life becomes too tough to handle.
Disappointments, regrets, failures
We constantly punish ourselves in fear.
Despite the many times I forgot His love for me,
I continued singing,
He guided me through the muck in my life
while I complained and whined about how difficult life is.
And life can be tough,
But in His perfect Love,
there is no need to fear life.
He's made us to live
and has given us free will--
the choice to live
and the choice to love Him
because He loves us.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Fear is the Mind Killer
Fear is in all of us
Fear is an act of survival,
To ignore fear is foolish.
It is easy to do so.
So easy, you'd like to do that for the rest of your life.
But fear will always be there.
And it will forever linger in you
And gradually destroy your mind
If you ignore it.
Do not ignore it
Let it pass through your mind and body,
Touch it, feel it...
Before you know it,
it'll disperse.
Do not be deceived by it's monstrous face
Face your fear
You will see that your dream will survive
You will survive.
Your God will not betray you.
You have been given a dream
A dream that is worth living for.
Psalm 23:4
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
Fear the Creator, not His creations.
Fear is an act of survival,
To ignore fear is foolish.
It is easy to do so.
So easy, you'd like to do that for the rest of your life.
But fear will always be there.
And it will forever linger in you
And gradually destroy your mind
If you ignore it.
Do not ignore it
Let it pass through your mind and body,
Touch it, feel it...
Before you know it,
it'll disperse.
Do not be deceived by it's monstrous face
Face your fear
You will see that your dream will survive
You will survive.
Your God will not betray you.
You have been given a dream
A dream that is worth living for.
Psalm 23:4
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
Fear the Creator, not His creations.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Defeated by Me, Freed in Christ
I had a rough night with my new hostessing job and I lost sleep from being too upset.
I've always wondered why our world is so driven by the dollar.
Before this job, I never knew that tiny things like..not having the tables in your section seated, or the tips from serving a group of 11 or who's serving more tables or who gets to handle the most take out for the sake of cashing in the most tips were things to complain and fight over. Sound! Noises! Nonsense! Bitter words that gave me headaches.
It was probably easiest for me to say:
I hate this damn place. All these noises. Screw it, I'm leaving! It's not right for me.
However,
To leave is to blindfold myself from my world.
To leave is to not just draw the line, but to build a wall between me and the world.
To leave is not reaching out.
To leave is denial. Denying the world and myself. I am a part of the world whether I like it or not.
To leave is to not love others--my neighbors, the strangers that I'd only meet once in my life.
To leave is to give in to the power of what money seemingly has.
To leave is not growing up.
To leave is forgetting the bigger picture.
It is just a restaurant after all.
To leave is just not possible.
I guess I was hurt,
I was sad.
My eyes were opened,
I was seeing the dark side
That I've refused to see...
Our world is broken.
We are such imperfect creatures,
born into suffering,
On the watch for imperfections,
Arguments,
Petty dramas,
We defeat ourselves all the time...
All the time.
but Christ has freed us.
God showed us His way
To stop our sufferings in Him.
We have Hope.
No, I am not intimidated by you world!
For I am not serving you,
I serve my Lord,
The Creator of you and the rest of the universe
with all my heart, soul and mind.
My soul knows Him
And He knows my soul.
He gives me rest.
My source of strength and courage
is greater than life.
How beautiful and sweet,
Liberating and joyous.
There. I've made my statement. Voices you may stop now.
In Christ, I am no longer defeated.
In Christ, my adventure proceeds.
In Christ, I will reach my dreams.
Losing sleep over this was definitely not worth it.
Ha, petty arguments in my head!
You were such a waste of time.
I've always wondered why our world is so driven by the dollar.
Before this job, I never knew that tiny things like..not having the tables in your section seated, or the tips from serving a group of 11 or who's serving more tables or who gets to handle the most take out for the sake of cashing in the most tips were things to complain and fight over. Sound! Noises! Nonsense! Bitter words that gave me headaches.
It was probably easiest for me to say:
I hate this damn place. All these noises. Screw it, I'm leaving! It's not right for me.
However,
To leave is to blindfold myself from my world.
To leave is to not just draw the line, but to build a wall between me and the world.
To leave is not reaching out.
To leave is denial. Denying the world and myself. I am a part of the world whether I like it or not.
To leave is to not love others--my neighbors, the strangers that I'd only meet once in my life.
To leave is to give in to the power of what money seemingly has.
To leave is not growing up.
To leave is forgetting the bigger picture.
It is just a restaurant after all.
To leave is just not possible.
I guess I was hurt,
I was sad.
My eyes were opened,
I was seeing the dark side
That I've refused to see...
Our world is broken.
We are such imperfect creatures,
born into suffering,
On the watch for imperfections,
Arguments,
Petty dramas,
We defeat ourselves all the time...
All the time.
but Christ has freed us.
God showed us His way
To stop our sufferings in Him.
We have Hope.
No, I am not intimidated by you world!
For I am not serving you,
I serve my Lord,
The Creator of you and the rest of the universe
with all my heart, soul and mind.
My soul knows Him
And He knows my soul.
He gives me rest.
My source of strength and courage
is greater than life.
How beautiful and sweet,
Liberating and joyous.
There. I've made my statement. Voices you may stop now.
In Christ, I am no longer defeated.
In Christ, my adventure proceeds.
In Christ, I will reach my dreams.
Losing sleep over this was definitely not worth it.
Ha, petty arguments in my head!
You were such a waste of time.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Trash for the Brainssss
1. TV Reality Shows
2. Facebook
3. Celebrity Magazines
Yes, I know they're such a waste of time. But they're so fun and entertaining and just useless. It's such a curse. It tempts you with the sparks and beauty of entertainment, but it leaves you with this dry, numb and "oh, there goes my day living vicariously through that actress or model or housewife or dog or etc.!" feeling.
And then you begin to realize that that model friend of a friend of a friend of yours has no idea who you are because you're so not the kind of person they'll ever meet and they're just so not you and they're half a world away from you.
So, you just spent half an hour of your life doing an intensive "networking" or "studying" or "researching" on a person that you have no relation to.
And then you somehow convince yourself that it would only make sense to ramble about the time you've wasted on your blog that anyone hardly comes to read.
Oh my goodness...my life is SAD!
On a happier note, I'm starting my new job today. YAY!
Another new adventure starting this week: Studying my very first opera role. Susanna from Le Nozze di Figaro.
Alright, I think I'm ready to live a productive day today.
2. Facebook
3. Celebrity Magazines
Yes, I know they're such a waste of time. But they're so fun and entertaining and just useless. It's such a curse. It tempts you with the sparks and beauty of entertainment, but it leaves you with this dry, numb and "oh, there goes my day living vicariously through that actress or model or housewife or dog or etc.!" feeling.
And then you begin to realize that that model friend of a friend of a friend of yours has no idea who you are because you're so not the kind of person they'll ever meet and they're just so not you and they're half a world away from you.
So, you just spent half an hour of your life doing an intensive "networking" or "studying" or "researching" on a person that you have no relation to.
And then you somehow convince yourself that it would only make sense to ramble about the time you've wasted on your blog that anyone hardly comes to read.
Oh my goodness...my life is SAD!
On a happier note, I'm starting my new job today. YAY!
Another new adventure starting this week: Studying my very first opera role. Susanna from Le Nozze di Figaro.
Alright, I think I'm ready to live a productive day today.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
New Beginnings
My life is taking a huge transformation right now.
I think it has been for these last couple months,
but I've been too busy to see it.
Through many prayers and hard work,
I've finally got a job.
Besides that,
4 new students have recently enrolled into my studio.
BUT,
most importantly,
the green card has arrived.
Surprisingly, the card is GREEN.
Attention everyone, the card has finally reverted back to green, it's original color! WOO HOO!!!!
Why wouldn't it be green? It is such a refreshing color.
And green means go after all! ^^
The government was so kind to approve my green card
they actually sent me a welcome letter.
Happy week. Thank God for the wonderful doors that He has opened for me.
All I can do is to rejoice in the power of my God.
All things are possible.
I would like to take this time to quote one of my favorite Sunday School songs from back when I was but a little chubby child:
"My God is so big,
So strong and so mighty,
There's nothing my God can't do. FOR YOU! (thanks jie shin)"
Cheers to new beginnings.
May our lives be filled with more surprises and may we never cease to taste, thirst and hunger for more of God's glory.
I think it has been for these last couple months,
but I've been too busy to see it.
Through many prayers and hard work,
I've finally got a job.
Besides that,
4 new students have recently enrolled into my studio.
BUT,
most importantly,
the green card has arrived.
Surprisingly, the card is GREEN.
Attention everyone, the card has finally reverted back to green, it's original color! WOO HOO!!!!
Why wouldn't it be green? It is such a refreshing color.
And green means go after all! ^^
The government was so kind to approve my green card
they actually sent me a welcome letter.
Happy week. Thank God for the wonderful doors that He has opened for me.
All I can do is to rejoice in the power of my God.
All things are possible.
I would like to take this time to quote one of my favorite Sunday School songs from back when I was but a little chubby child:
"My God is so big,
So strong and so mighty,
There's nothing my God can't do. FOR YOU! (thanks jie shin)"
Cheers to new beginnings.
May our lives be filled with more surprises and may we never cease to taste, thirst and hunger for more of God's glory.
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