My Geese are Still Scattered

  Previously, I wrote about how my geese were scattered. Well, sad news. They still are scattered. But I am less weary about their condition. It's just how they will always be. I can't change these damn geese. It's becoming clear to me that an artist cannot and is never able to control his or her artistic path.
  You can have your perfect master plan and you can be as talented as Mozart ever was. But all of this does not count in the end. The things that will determine your path are the doors that will be opened to you.
  My job as an artist is to master the skills of letting go and having faith. Letting go. As adults we hear this all the time. But no one really talks about how we should go about doing so. I personally think that we can only learn this skill through art. Why art? Because art teaches you that lessons take time and it forces you to understand a hell lot of yourself (even when you refuse). There is only one true art in you, and that is you. You are the art. And let me tell you a secret... (there isn't a short cut, trick, sorcery or gadget that can teach you how to be yourself, but yourself)
   We are born with souls. You don't have to see a ghost to know that. We learn as children that we are not like our toys. My nephew loves his Thomas tank engine set. He talks to them and makes them talk like he can. But he knows they are not like him. But does that take the joy out of the relationship he has with his trains? HELL NO! And why is that? Well, because there a spectacular thing that our brains can do. Imagine. Our soul longs to see beyond what our eyes and our brains can manifest. Art gives is our medium canvas to paint what the tangible world cant. It is yours to paint! Remember those days, adults? Those sweet days when you allowed yourself to let your imagination run wild, be naked and embrace what your parents cannot. This is why my career has nothing to do with controlling. But it has everything to do with being in control. Controlled chaos.

My geese may look scattered, but I am not a scatter brain.

And since talent and master plans don't really mean much in the end, why not let my imagination be the wild thing it can be? I want to sing like the way my nephew plays his Thomas trains.

Crack that Shell

The more you learn, the less you know.
I can't tell you how many times I've heard this.

But really, when will I actually crack that shell? When will I finally get a taste of knowing?

The older I get, the more I see how stupid I am. And somehow, that hurts in a good way.

It doesn't make me want to fight or deny the fact that I don't know much about the world. However, it does make me want to reach out, jump off the cliff, and dive deep to find out how much I've been missing out.

Working at the coffee shop really helps. I get to talk to so many smart and intelligent people who I would never meet in the conservatory, or in church, or on my commute. They talk about music, movies, authors, creatures, philosophies, places--about the many things that I've never heard of.

A cave woman being introduced to the new world. Lately, I've been feeling more and more like a cave woman who just had her cave broken into pieces. Now, she must commune with the rest of the world. And find out how she functions without her safe cave.

Could it be that I'm growing up? Or is globalization catching up to me? The world seems smaller by day. The obvious is becoming too obvious. So much so that I'm seeing the many details that I've missed on my first glance.

This is good. And I'm very thankful for it.