O Lord,
Listen to my cry for help;
Be not deaf to my weeping.
For I dwell with you as a stranger,
as all my fathers were.
Look away from me,
That I may rejoice again
before I depart and am no more.
I wish I was the center of the universe. But I am undependable. If
the universe was orbiting around me, there would be planets and stars and
giant rocks crashing into each other by the minute. There would be no universe if I was the center.
Pride sucks you into doing and thinking foul things.
As I prepare for my recitals, I cry out for help to the Lord. Frau Evelina keeps coming back telling me that things should be perfect--I should be perfect. It's all about me and nothing else.
That's not true. If I did art for myself, I would not be an artist. Gifts are meant to be shared and given away. I am singing because I am called to sing. He gives me a new song to sing each day. What else can I do but to praise Him and find pleasure in singing His new songs?
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Apart from You, I have No Good Thing
Alec and I are moving to Boston.
We are very stressed with all the planning. Every part of the planning seems to burden us. We have forgotten. I have forgotten what and why I've decided to move.
Getting into this school took more than just one miracle.
With a couple missed flight and a lost baggage, it took many many prayers to get me to the audition without looking like a complete mess.
During the audition, I didn't quite get myself mentally prepared to sing in front of 8-9 people from the voice faculty. I sang my first aria successfully. But was not at all prepared for my second piece. I gave the faculty 2 completely different performances within 5 minutes.
How is it possible that I still got in to the school? After my audition, I had to wait for an interview with the stage director. Knowing how I flopped my audition, there was no longer a need to impress the school. Why should I? I'm not getting into the school after that kind of audition.
So, I walked into the interview as myself. He asked me why did I choose to sing opera. How did I learn to sing? What sort of stage experiences have I had?
And then he asked, "Do you have any questions for me?" He probably regretted asking me this because as soon as he did, I knew the ball was in my court. In a split second, his student interview became my teachers interview. Why not? I'm not getting into this school. I better learn what it's like being here if I'd ever have the chance to attend your school in the future. Half an hour later, I've learned why he's decided to teach there, what sort of operas he's done, how he runs his classroom, what technique he uses, how he collaborates with the other directors etc...
When this trip was over, I've learned that God can move mountains but did not at all think I was getting in.
In less than a month, we learned that I got in.
How miraculous.
Why wouldn't I go there? What do I have that I did not receive? And if I did receive it, why would I boast as though I did not?
Lord, you have assign me my portion and my cup. You have made my lot secure.
We are very stressed with all the planning. Every part of the planning seems to burden us. We have forgotten. I have forgotten what and why I've decided to move.
Getting into this school took more than just one miracle.
With a couple missed flight and a lost baggage, it took many many prayers to get me to the audition without looking like a complete mess.
During the audition, I didn't quite get myself mentally prepared to sing in front of 8-9 people from the voice faculty. I sang my first aria successfully. But was not at all prepared for my second piece. I gave the faculty 2 completely different performances within 5 minutes.
How is it possible that I still got in to the school? After my audition, I had to wait for an interview with the stage director. Knowing how I flopped my audition, there was no longer a need to impress the school. Why should I? I'm not getting into the school after that kind of audition.
So, I walked into the interview as myself. He asked me why did I choose to sing opera. How did I learn to sing? What sort of stage experiences have I had?
And then he asked, "Do you have any questions for me?" He probably regretted asking me this because as soon as he did, I knew the ball was in my court. In a split second, his student interview became my teachers interview. Why not? I'm not getting into this school. I better learn what it's like being here if I'd ever have the chance to attend your school in the future. Half an hour later, I've learned why he's decided to teach there, what sort of operas he's done, how he runs his classroom, what technique he uses, how he collaborates with the other directors etc...
When this trip was over, I've learned that God can move mountains but did not at all think I was getting in.
In less than a month, we learned that I got in.
How miraculous.
Why wouldn't I go there? What do I have that I did not receive? And if I did receive it, why would I boast as though I did not?
Lord, you have assign me my portion and my cup. You have made my lot secure.
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