It's been a while since I've been "home".
Just recently, I made a quick visit to the Malaysian Consulate.
I NEEDED to renew my passport. (Boring task, but utterly important and expensive)
Being in that little piece of Malaysian soil, I somehow got in touch with the Malaysian in me.
I had no idea how Americanized I have become.
A foreigner in my own country. What a thought...
While I was there, I forced myself to read the Malaysian magazines that laid on the table next to me.
They were the toughest articles I have read in a long time. Not because they were difficult literature, but because they were written in a foreign language--Malay.
The lady who sat opposite to me made an effort to talk to me.
Not because I was a fellow Malaysian neighbor, but because I looked lost.
She spoke to me in English. I tried to continue the conversation in very broken Chinese but she insisted to continue in English.
A foreigner in my own land...
9 years ago, I had a long conversation with my ex-boyfriend nights before THE move. I remember how mortified I was by the thought that I would be AMERICANIZED. We laughed about how I would return to Malaysia with an American accent. We entertained ourselves with the thought that we would not see each other for ten years. "NO! That's impossible! Ten years' a long time!"
Hah, how we laughed.
Last Tuesday I felt Malaysian, and very quickly I became that foreigner among Malaysians.
Where did I come from?
I come from a land far away,
found my way to the land of dreams.
This way I did not choose
Never did I pursue.
And yet, here am I.
In awe of what I have become.
To my surprise
I have slid into a different skin
Where did I
where DO I come from?
Is it such an important question afterall?
My home is where my heart is.
I come from where my heart belongs.
This is my song, oh God of all the nations,
a song of peace for lands afar and mine.
This is my home, the country where my heart is;
here are my hopes, my dreams, my holy shrine;
but other hearts in other lands are beating
with hopes and dreams as true and high as mine
We sang this in church today
and I choked up..
